Anatomy of a Self-Portrait

 

I started “When My Good Eye Goes” in December of 2010.  John Schuerman had contacted me a month prior about participating in The Self-Portrait Show at Hennes Art Company. I was excited for the opportunity; working on it constantly, right up until the drop off date in March of 2011. 

I had a canvas that wasn’t working out so I just started working on top of it. I took a look at a photo and roughed an image in really fast.  Other than that, I didn’t use a mirror or the photo while I worked. I felt my way through the rest of the piece adapting and adjusting.  I typically work everything out in the process,  So I made my portrait in the same manner.

The title “When My Good Eye Goes” refers to my eyesight. I have the eye condition amblyopia, Which results in reduced vision. The brain, for some reason, does not fully acknowledge the images seen by the amblyopic eye (in my case the right).  Due to the difference between each of my eyes, my brain selected to develop the stronger eye;  which affects my depth perception. 

The main thought I had in my head while making “When My Good Eye Goes” was a  quote by Friedrich Nietzsche.  “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”  It’s something that I keep in my mind when I start to feel too fatalistic. 

I do a lot of over-painting and alteration in my work process.

Everything is in the completed work; the sketches, rough drafts, composition changes, abandoned ideas, palette changes, etc. This work is a great example of how drastic changes can be.

I love the color here at this stage. Although I am still happy with the finished work, I still prefer the rawness and vibrancy.

But in the end I wanted to achieve something a little more detailed and refined. There were incredible artists in this show. Knowing the caliber of the other artists, having a deadline for creating a new work and the subject of self-portrait; it was a lot of pressure to show up with something that exemplified who I am and what I do. 

I’m a competitive person. I think a little healthy competition is good, especially when you’re rooting for each other to succeed.  

I see other artist’s work sometimes and I just think “OH GOD,I’m not working hard enough!” Then I have an internal motivation to get over this newly raised bar.

For the most part though, I'm happy with how this one turned out.

John Megas wrote some really encouraging things about my work in his review for the show, Turning the Inside Out at Hennes Art. I'm very  grateful to have been involved with the show. It was an absolutely amazing experience. 

When My Good Eye Goes ©JAschebrock 2011